Sep 20, 2016
Summary:
In this episode, Dave interviews Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a super successful sexologist. Jess became interested in sexual health when she noticed a problem in school systems. Students were all facing issues related to relationships and sex, and no one was giving them the knowledge they needed. That problem sparked her desire to leave teaching and go back to school to get a PhD in human sexuality. Now she has come up with a method to treat your marriage like your business and invest in the future of your relationship.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
- 00:33 – Introducing Jess
- 00:45 – Not a typical entrepreneur
- 02:35 – Jess’ most recent book The New Sex Bible, along with many others
- 03:30 – Why Jess is a great candidate for this podcast
- 03:55 – She has created a brand around herself
- 04:25 – Jess started as a high school teacher for at-risk teens
- 04:55 – Jess saw that all teen had issues related to sex and relationships
- 05:20 – “We need better education on sexual health” – Dr. Jess O’Reily
- 05:50 – Jess decided to leave teaching and see what she could do to improve sex-ed
- 06:10 – This education needs to start at a very young age
- 06:55 – She was a natural entrepreneur, and she felt a frustration with sex ed
- 07:20 – “Why did you go back to school?” – Dave Will
- 07:50 – The education system in Canada is state mandated
- 08:20 – Jess was looking for a career change from teaching
- 08:35 – Jess didn’t like the classroom setting or the set structure
- 08:55 – It was a selfish way out to work with students in a different capacity
- 09:20 – Jess received a PhD in human sexuality, and there were no jobs in that
- 10:00 – High school kids hear the clinical side of sexuality,
but Jess focuses on the emotional and relationship components
- 10:55 – Students need a space to discuss those things
- 11:08 – They don’t have reliable sources
- 11:18 – They need that “data” to become relevant to them
- 11:55 – A lot of things related to sex and porn pop up in
different places. Let’s talk about that exposure on the internet.
What is your advice to parents for that?
- 12:55 – It’s important to talk to young people about sex and porn
- 13:10 – Blocking sites is not effective
- 13:22 – Get ahead of the porn problem. Talk to kids before it becomes an issue
- 13:40 – It’s challenging because parents are uncomfortable talking about it
- 14:00 – Talk to your kids and become that person that they come to
- 14:28 – Porn is fake. Porn is produced
- 15:00 – Porn is not a normal representation of sex
- 15:38 – What’s the most annoying question that you get asked?
- 16:10 – I’m concerned when something becomes a circus trick, like squirting
- 17:00 – “Questions about my sex life” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 17:40 – “My story should not be relevant to other relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 18:25 – “You can’t look to one couple or one person for an answer” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 18:50 – If everyone’s unique, how do you educate as a
sexologist at a mass level?
- 19:20 – You encourage and you empower, so that people can talk to their partner
- 19:40 – Talk about your brand, and how you built that image.
- 20:50 – “When I started, writing was the most important to my brand” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 21:20 – Jess started writing on her own site and on other platforms
- 21:50 – Jess got her name out to publishers and got a book deal
- 22:15 – A TV deal evolved into a social media following
- 22:30 – Everything is geared toward being in front of an audience
- 23:15 – A lot of people fail at building multiple streams of revenue
- 23:48 – Content marketing representing other brands
- 24:30 – Competition in the field of sexology
- 24:50 – Jess’ interests and skill set are unique, but there are a lot of people in the industry
- 25:50 – Promoting your brand through social media
- 26:15 – How can people differentiate themselves from their
competition?
- 26:35 – You need media training and skills
- 26:55 – Be media savvy
- 27:10 – There are many agencies that can help, but Jess has always done it on her own
- 28:10 – Everything she learned in teachers’ college is totally relevant to what she does today
- 28:35 – TMM in New York takes on clients to help with media training
- 29:00 – Who is your target audience?
- 29:10 – “It’s almost always couples. It’s better to work together” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 29:40 – Does a lot of sex begin in rooms besides the bedroom?
- 30:05 – “Absolutely. Relationships and sex go hand in hand” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 30:57 – Who will generally call to meet with you?
- 31:10 – In the beginning it was always the women
- 31:20 – Now Jess hears from both men and women
- 31:45 – The workshop takes the concepts of a business and
applies those to a marriage
- 32:18 – “We have to invest in our marriages and our relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 32:35 – The wedding industry is insane, but people don’t spend money on therapy for their relationship
- 33:00 – The divorce industry is huge
- 33:10 – Make a plan for your marriage
- 33:35 – Sit down with your partner and pay attention
- 33:40 – A philosophy centered on improvement
- 34:00 – In business, that is always the focus
- 34:30 – “We should do the same thing with our families and relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- 34:45 – Don’t put your marriage in cruise control
- 35:05 – We should not be complacent about marriage
- 35:35 – A quarter of your life is unsatisfactory with your partner
- 35:45 – Take some time to invest and plan and talk
- 35:58 – The TV show Swing on Playboy TV
- 26:19 – A reality show about swingers
- 36:55 – Jess was concerned about her brand, because she didn’t want to focus on swingers
- 38:10 – The future for Jess’s career
- 38:40 – Digital, with webinars
- 39:00 – She will continue to speak
- 39:50 – com
- 40:04 – @SexWithDrJess on Twitter and sexwitdrjess on Instagram
- 40:20 – The New Sex Bible
- 40:30 – Desire Resort in Mexico
- 40:50 – Dave closes the podcast
3 Key Points:
- Find a way to monetize your passion.
- Get to work to develop your brand through content marketing and social media.
- You should invest in your marriage just as you invest in your business.
Resources Mentioned:
- com – Dr. Jess O’Reilly’s website
- The New Sex Bible – A new guide to sexual love, by Dr. Jess O’Reilly
- Desire Resort – in Mexico, for couples only
Credits:
- Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives
- Audio Production by Christopher Mottram